Audrey Burges

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    • About Audrey
    • Satire & Essays
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Audrey Burges

Audrey BurgesAudrey BurgesAudrey Burges

  • Home
  • About Audrey
  • Satire & Essays
  • Books
  • Blog
  • Contact

Other Writing and Projects

McSweeney's

The Belladonna

The Belladonna

Waterfall by A. Burges

Are you Baking Cookies with Children or Starring in a Gritty Crime Procedural? https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/are-you-baking-cookies-with-children-or-starring-in-a-gritty-crime-procedural


Welcome to Your At-Home High Intensity Interval Toddler Class!

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/welcome-to-your-at-home-high-intensity-interval-toddler-class


On the Seventh Day, God Created Parenting, and Then Parenting Created Coffee

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/on-the-seventh-day-god-created-parenting-and-then-parenting-created-coffee


Early Agent Feedback for Wutherton, An Emily Bronte Musical

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/early-agent-feedback-for-wutherton-an-emily-bronte-musical


Female Character Written by Hemingway, or My New Houseplant?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/female-character-written-by-hemingway-or-my-new-houseplant


Herr Drosselmeyer, It Grieves Me to Disinvite You and Your Nutcracker from Future Holiday Parties

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/herr-drosselmeyer-it-grieves-me-to-disinvite-you-and-your-nutcracker-from-future-holiday-parties 


Things You Shout at Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shout at Your Children While Shouting at Colleagues Over Zoom?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/things-you-shout-at-colleagues-over-zoom-or-shout-at-your-children-while-shouting-at-colleagues-over-zoom

The Belladonna

The Belladonna

The Belladonna

Hibiscus by A. Burges

 

Remarks by an Archaeologist Excavating Ruins, or By Your Dad While Clearing Out the Fridge for Thanksgiving?

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/remarks-by-an-archaeologist-excavating-ruins-or-by-your-dad-while-clearing-out-the-fridge-for-9ab16e784719


Excerpts from the Erotic Thriller I Wrote Despite My Overwhelming Discomfort with Sex Scenes

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-from-the-erotic-thriller-i-wrote-despite-my-overwhelming-discomfort-with-sex-scenes-a104e0dd8f7e


As This Neighborhood's Oldest Rubber Yard Zombie, I Call for an End to our Severed Arms Race

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/as-this-neighborhoods-oldest-rubber-yard-zombie-i-call-for-an-end-to-our-severed-arms-race-4948715b8a39


Rely on Small Child Construction for the Home Office Improvement Needs You Didn't Know You Had

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/rely-on-small-child-construction-for-the-home-office-improvement-needs-you-didnt-know-you-had-ab0a90a4e5e8 


Creating A Swan-Filled Lake as My Own Personal Dating Pool Has Gone Horribly Awry

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/creating-a-swan-filled-lake-as-my-own-personal-dating-pool-has-gone-horribly-awry-6759962cbd5f 


Excerpts From Are You There, God? It's Me, Momgret

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-from-are-you-there-god-its-me-momgret-c44c82ac2136 


The Hurricane Association Condemns the Use of Performance-Enhancing Markers

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-hurricane-association-condemns-the-use-of-performance-enhancing-markers-31dcab250309 


Transcripts of the Calls I Imagine 911 Receives About My Parenting

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/transcripts-of-the-calls-i-imagine-911-receives-about-my-parenting-22d59610bb9d 


Dante's Fitness Inferno (https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/dantes-fitness-inferno-31db3ff86215A) 


A Heartfelt "Thank You" to Swimsuit Designers (https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/a-heartfelt-thank-you-to-swimsuit-designers-7e5e3aa123c4)

 


Essays and CNF

The Belladonna

Essays and CNF

Pansies by A. Burges


Into the Void: 

Burritos and Birches

https://intothevoidmagazine.com/article/burritos-and-birches/


Human Parts: 

My Mother Edits the World

https://humanparts.medium.com/my-mother-edits-the-world-fa047410c647 


Empty Mirror: 

Surfacing the Toxins

https://www.emptymirrorbooks.com/personal-essay/surfacing-the-toxins 


Medium: 

A Tale of Love and Raisin Bread

 https://medium.com/@admin_33094/a-tale-of-love-and-raisin-bread-1291ce6fd848 


Small Feats of Heroism My Father Has Performed (https://medium.com/@admin_33094/small-feats-of-heroism-my-father-has-performed-998f7ba8a35f) 


The Shark Also Rises (https://medium.com/@admin_33094/the-shark-also-rises-43c530076a7e) 



Slackjaw

Points in Case

Essays and CNF

Star Magnolia by A. Burges


Pilot Transcript for HGTV's Playhouse Hunters

https://medium.com/slackjaw/pilot-transcript-for-hgtvs-playhouse-hunters-f79063b730ff


Euphemisms for the Sex You Try to Have When Your House is Also Your Office, School, Daycare, and 24-Hour Recreational Facility

 https://medium.com/slackjaw/euphemisms-for-the-sex-you-try-to-have-when-your-house-is-also-your-office-school-daycare-and-f0cd8e23b056 


MANUFRACTURE is a Brutal DIY Experience Where Only the Strong Survive

 https://medium.com/slackjaw/manufracture-is-a-brutal-diy-experience-where-only-the-strong-survive-5f35ab9866bf 


Our New Weight Loss App for Kids is Totally Worth the Risk

 https://medium.com/slackjaw/our-new-weight-loss-app-for-kids-is-totally-worth-the-risk-c84347cff451 



Points in Case

Points in Case

Points in Case

Butterfly by A. Burges


Welcome to Gnomebox https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/welcome-to-gnomebox-the-toddler-fashion-service-with-totally-innocuous-motives


The Wake-Up Fairy Is Tired of Your Bullshit https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/the-wake-up-fairy-is-tired-of-your-bullshit


Modern Male Authors Rework Literary Classics by Women https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/modern-male-authors-rework-literary-classics-by-women)

Frazzled

Points in Case

Points in Case

Gate by A. Burges

 

Games My Children Have Invented While We're Trying to Avoid the Hospital

https://medium.com/frazzled/games-my-children-have-invented-while-were-trying-to-avoid-the-hospital-67b2df974c7c


If You Give a Mom a Virtual School Schedule

https://medium.com/frazzled/if-you-give-a-mom-a-virtual-school-schedule-4e75c2b9654


Goodnight, Goodnight, Instruction Site

https://medium.com/frazzled/goodnight-goodnight-instruction-site-8e882d46d174 


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