Other Writing and Projects

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Talking Heads Lyrics, or Words My Kid Strings Together at Bedtime Instead of Falling Asleep at a Reasonable Hour?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/talking-heads-lyrics-or-words-my-kid-strings-together-at-bedtime-instead-of-falling-asleep-at-a-reasonable-hour

I'm Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew it Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-vincent-van-gogh-and-i-painted-that-way-because-i-knew-it-would-look-really-sweet-on-a-mousepad

I'm Beginning to Think You Don't Care About the Forty-Seven Valentines I Need to Take to School Tomorrow

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/im-beginning-to-think-you-dont-care-about-the-forty-seven-valentines-i-need-to-take-to-school-tomorrow

Are You Vacationing with Children or Starring in a Gripping Medical Drama?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/are-you-vacationing-with-children-or-starring-in-a-gripping-medical-drama

My Mother's Day Gift to Myself is This Dissociative Episode in Costco

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/my-mothers-day-gift-to-myself-is-this-dissociative-episode-in-costco

Are You Preparing Dinner for Children or Starring in a Post-Apocalyptic Drama?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/are-you-preparing-dinner-for-children-or-starring-in-a-post-apocalyptic-drama

Are you Baking Cookies with Children or Starring in a Gritty Crime Procedural? https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/are-you-baking-cookies-with-children-or-starring-in-a-gritty-crime-procedural

Welcome to Your At-Home High Intensity Interval Toddler Class!

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/welcome-to-your-at-home-high-intensity-interval-toddler-class

On the Seventh Day, God Created Parenting, and Then Parenting Created Coffee

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/on-the-seventh-day-god-created-parenting-and-then-parenting-created-coffee

Early Agent Feedback for Wutherton, An Emily Bronte Musical

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/early-agent-feedback-for-wutherton-an-emily-bronte-musical

Female Character Written by Hemingway, or My New Houseplant?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/female-character-written-by-hemingway-or-my-new-houseplant

Herr Drosselmeyer, It Grieves Me to Disinvite You and Your Nutcracker from Future Holiday Parties

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/herr-drosselmeyer-it-grieves-me-to-disinvite-you-and-your-nutcracker-from-future-holiday-parties 

Things You Shout at Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shout at Your Children While Shouting at Colleagues Over Zoom?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/things-you-shout-at-colleagues-over-zoom-or-shout-at-your-children-while-shouting-at-colleagues-over-zoom

Hobart Pulp: "And to Dust You Shall Return" 

https://www.hobartpulp.com/web_features/and-to-dust-you-shall-return

Pithead Chapel: "Prism of Impact"

https://pitheadchapel.com/prism-of-impact/

Cease, Cows: "First Moments Through a Looking Glass"

https://ceasecows.com/2021/09/02/first-moments-through-a-looking-glass-by-audrey-burges/

Fudoki Magazine: "Elegy of Branches"

https://fudokimagazine.com/elegy-of-branches/

HAD: "For Our Forty-Fifth Birthday, My Imaginary Friend Requests a Freaky Friday Scenario"

https://www.havehashad.com/hadposts/for-our-forty-fifth-birthday-my-imaginary-friend-requests-a-freaky-friday-scenario

National Flash Flood Day: "The Devil You Know"

http://flashfloodjournal.blogspot.com/2021/06/the-devil-you-know-by-audrey-burges.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter

Women Writers, Women's Books

I Feel Qualified to Write About a Luxury Sports Car Despite Never Touching One

http://booksbywomen.org/i-feel-qualified-to-write-about-a-luxury-sports-car-despite-never-touching-one-by-audrey-burges/

Women Writers, Women's Books

If Brevity is the Soul of Wit, Can I Ever Write a Funny Book?

http://booksbywomen.org/if-brevity-is-the-soul-of-wit-can-i-ever-write-a-funny-book/

Gingerbread House Literary Magazine:

The Gravity of Sisters

https://gingerbreadhouselitmag.com/2021/01/31/new-10/

Into the Void: 

Burritos and Birches

https://intothevoidmagazine.com/article/burritos-and-birches/

Human Parts: 

My Mother Edits the World

https://humanparts.medium.com/my-mother-edits-the-world-fa047410c647 

Empty Mirror: 

Surfacing the Toxins

https://www.emptymirrorbooks.com/personal-essay/surfacing-the-toxins 

Medium: 

A Tale of Love and Raisin Bread

 https://medium.com/@admin_33094/a-tale-of-love-and-raisin-bread-1291ce6fd848 

Small Feats of Heroism My Father Has Performed (https://medium.com/@admin_33094/small-feats-of-heroism-my-father-has-performed-998f7ba8a35f) 

The Shark Also Rises (https://medium.com/@admin_33094/the-shark-also-rises-43c530076a7e) 

 An Oral History of Saint Patrick by the Snakes He Banished from Ireland

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/an-oral-history-of-saint-patrick-by-the-snakes-he-banished-from-ireland-17bed186b3c

Remarks by an Archaeologist Excavating Ruins, or By Your Dad While Clearing Out the Fridge for Thanksgiving?

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/remarks-by-an-archaeologist-excavating-ruins-or-by-your-dad-while-clearing-out-the-fridge-for-9ab16e784719

Excerpts from the Erotic Thriller I Wrote Despite My Overwhelming Discomfort with Sex Scenes

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-from-the-erotic-thriller-i-wrote-despite-my-overwhelming-discomfort-with-sex-scenes-a104e0dd8f7e

As This Neighborhood's Oldest Rubber Yard Zombie, I Call for an End to our Severed Arms Race

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/as-this-neighborhoods-oldest-rubber-yard-zombie-i-call-for-an-end-to-our-severed-arms-race-4948715b8a39

Rely on Small Child Construction for the Home Office Improvement Needs You Didn't Know You Had https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/rely-on-small-child-construction-for-the-home-office-improvement-needs-you-didnt-know-you-had-ab0a90a4e5e8 

Creating A Swan-Filled Lake as My Own Personal Dating Pool Has Gone Horribly Awry

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/creating-a-swan-filled-lake-as-my-own-personal-dating-pool-has-gone-horribly-awry-6759962cbd5f 

Excerpts From Are You There, God? It's Me, Momgret https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-from-are-you-there-god-its-me-momgret-c44c82ac2136 

The Hurricane Association Condemns the Use of Performance-Enhancing Markers https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-hurricane-association-condemns-the-use-of-performance-enhancing-markers-31dcab250309 

Transcripts of the Calls I Imagine 911 Receives About My Parenting

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/transcripts-of-the-calls-i-imagine-911-receives-about-my-parenting-22d59610bb9d 

Dante's Fitness Inferno (https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/dantes-fitness-inferno-31db3ff86215A) 

A Heartfelt "Thank You" to Swimsuit Designers (https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/a-heartfelt-thank-you-to-swimsuit-designers-7e5e3aa123c4)

Our Family's Swimsuits Were Designed by World-Famous Architect Frank Gehry, and Innovation is Worth Some Discomfort

(9th place winner, 2021 Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge)

https://medium.com/slackjaw/our-familys-swimsuits-were-designed-by-world-famous-architect-frank-gehry-and-innovation-is-worth-a92b6afb8dfb

Pilot Transcript for HGTV's Playhouse Hunters

https://medium.com/slackjaw/pilot-transcript-for-hgtvs-playhouse-hunters-f79063b730ff

I'm the Rotting Cabbage on Your Windowsill, and I'm Begging You to Stop Pretending You're a Gardener

https://medium.com/slackjaw/im-the-rotting-cabbage-on-your-windowsill-and-i-m-begging-you-to-stop-pretending-you-re-a-18cb84a9df45

Euphemisms for the Sex You Try to Have When Your House is Also Your Office, School, Daycare, and 24-Hour Recreational Facility https://medium.com/slackjaw/euphemisms-for-the-sex-you-try-to-have-when-your-house-is-also-your-office-school-daycare-and-f0cd8e23b056 

MANUFRACTURE is a Brutal DIY Experience Where Only the Strong Survive

https://medium.com/slackjaw/manufracture-is-a-brutal-diy-experience-where-only-the-strong-survive-5f35ab9866bf 

Our New Weight Loss App for Kids is Totally Worth the Risk

 https://medium.com/slackjaw/our-new-weight-loss-app-for-kids-is-totally-worth-the-risk-c84347cff451 

Welcome to Gnomebox https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/welcome-to-gnomebox-the-toddler-fashion-service-with-totally-innocuous-motives

The Wake-Up Fairy Is Tired of Your Bullshit https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/the-wake-up-fairy-is-tired-of-your-bullshit

Modern Male Authors Rework Literary Classics by Women https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/modern-male-authors-rework-literary-classics-by-women)

Greener Pastures

A Beginner's Guide to Power Washers

https://medium.com/greener-pastures-magazine/a-beginners-guide-to-power-washers-e9c52f550e2d

Frazzled

Things You're Still Shouting At Your Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shouting At Your Children Who Are Also On Zoom and Also Shouting?

https://medium.com/frazzled/things-youre-still-shouting-at-your-colleagues-over-zoom-or-shouting-at-your-children-who-are-1df8a5ea64cd 

Games My Children Have Invented While We're Trying to Avoid the Hospital

https://medium.com/frazzled/games-my-children-have-invented-while-were-trying-to-avoid-the-hospital-67b2df974c7c

If You Give a Mom a Virtual School Schedule

https://medium.com/frazzled/if-you-give-a-mom-a-virtual-school-schedule-4e75c2b9654

Goodnight, Goodnight, Instruction Site

https://medium.com/frazzled/goodnight-goodnight-instruction-site-8e882d46d174