Talking Heads Lyrics, or Words My Kid Strings Together at Bedtime Instead of Falling Asleep at a Reasonable Hour?
I'm Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew it Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad
I'm Beginning to Think You Don't Care About the Forty-Seven Valentines I Need to Take to School Tomorrow
Are You Vacationing with Children or Starring in a Gripping Medical Drama?
My Mother's Day Gift to Myself is This Dissociative Episode in Costco
Are You Preparing Dinner for Children or Starring in a Post-Apocalyptic Drama?
Are you Baking Cookies with Children or Starring in a Gritty Crime Procedural? https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/are-you-baking-cookies-with-children-or-starring-in-a-gritty-crime-procedural
Welcome to Your At-Home High Intensity Interval Toddler Class!
On the Seventh Day, God Created Parenting, and Then Parenting Created Coffee
Early Agent Feedback for Wutherton, An Emily Bronte Musical
Female Character Written by Hemingway, or My New Houseplant?
Herr Drosselmeyer, It Grieves Me to Disinvite You and Your Nutcracker from Future Holiday Parties
Things You Shout at Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shout at Your Children While Shouting at Colleagues Over Zoom?
Hobart Pulp: "And to Dust You Shall Return"
Pithead Chapel: "Prism of Impact"
Cease, Cows: "First Moments Through a Looking Glass"
Fudoki Magazine: "Elegy of Branches"
HAD: "For Our Forty-Fifth Birthday, My Imaginary Friend Requests a Freaky Friday Scenario"
National Flash Flood Day: "The Devil You Know"
Women Writers, Women's Books
I Feel Qualified to Write About a Luxury Sports Car Despite Never Touching One
Women Writers, Women's Books
If Brevity is the Soul of Wit, Can I Ever Write a Funny Book?
Gingerbread House Literary Magazine:
The Gravity of Sisters
Into the Void:
Burritos and Birches
My Mother Edits the World
Surfacing the Toxins
A Tale of Love and Raisin Bread
Small Feats of Heroism My Father Has Performed (https://medium.com/@admin_33094/small-feats-of-heroism-my-father-has-performed-998f7ba8a35f)
The Shark Also Rises (https://medium.com/@admin_33094/the-shark-also-rises-43c530076a7e)
An Oral History of Saint Patrick by the Snakes He Banished from Ireland
Remarks by an Archaeologist Excavating Ruins, or By Your Dad While Clearing Out the Fridge for Thanksgiving?
Excerpts from the Erotic Thriller I Wrote Despite My Overwhelming Discomfort with Sex Scenes
As This Neighborhood's Oldest Rubber Yard Zombie, I Call for an End to our Severed Arms Race
Rely on Small Child Construction for the Home Office Improvement Needs You Didn't Know You Had https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/rely-on-small-child-construction-for-the-home-office-improvement-needs-you-didnt-know-you-had-ab0a90a4e5e8
Creating A Swan-Filled Lake as My Own Personal Dating Pool Has Gone Horribly Awry
Excerpts From Are You There, God? It's Me, Momgret https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-from-are-you-there-god-its-me-momgret-c44c82ac2136
The Hurricane Association Condemns the Use of Performance-Enhancing Markers https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-hurricane-association-condemns-the-use-of-performance-enhancing-markers-31dcab250309
Transcripts of the Calls I Imagine 911 Receives About My Parenting
Dante's Fitness Inferno (https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/dantes-fitness-inferno-31db3ff86215A)
A Heartfelt "Thank You" to Swimsuit Designers (https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/a-heartfelt-thank-you-to-swimsuit-designers-7e5e3aa123c4)
Our Family's Swimsuits Were Designed by World-Famous Architect Frank Gehry, and Innovation is Worth Some Discomfort
(9th place winner, 2021 Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge)
Pilot Transcript for HGTV's Playhouse Hunters
I'm the Rotting Cabbage on Your Windowsill, and I'm Begging You to Stop Pretending You're a Gardener
Euphemisms for the Sex You Try to Have When Your House is Also Your Office, School, Daycare, and 24-Hour Recreational Facility https://medium.com/slackjaw/euphemisms-for-the-sex-you-try-to-have-when-your-house-is-also-your-office-school-daycare-and-f0cd8e23b056
MANUFRACTURE is a Brutal DIY Experience Where Only the Strong Survive
Our New Weight Loss App for Kids is Totally Worth the Risk
The Wake-Up Fairy Is Tired of Your Bullshit https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/the-wake-up-fairy-is-tired-of-your-bullshit
Modern Male Authors Rework Literary Classics by Women https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/modern-male-authors-rework-literary-classics-by-women)
A Beginner's Guide to Power Washers
Things You're Still Shouting At Your Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shouting At Your Children Who Are Also On Zoom and Also Shouting?
Games My Children Have Invented While We're Trying to Avoid the Hospital
If You Give a Mom a Virtual School Schedule
Goodnight, Goodnight, Instruction Site