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Audrey Burges

Audrey BurgesAudrey BurgesAudrey Burges

Other Writing and Projects

McSweeney's

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

The Belladonna

Chicory by A. Burges

Are You Preparing Dinner for Children or Starring in a Post-Apocalyptic Drama?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/are-you-preparing-dinner-for-children-or-starring-in-a-post-apocalyptic-drama


Are you Baking Cookies with Children or Starring in a Gritty Crime Procedural? https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/are-you-baking-cookies-with-children-or-starring-in-a-gritty-crime-procedural


Welcome to Your At-Home High Intensity Interval Toddler Class!

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/welcome-to-your-at-home-high-intensity-interval-toddler-class


On the Seventh Day, God Created Parenting, and Then Parenting Created Coffee

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/on-the-seventh-day-god-created-parenting-and-then-parenting-created-coffee


Early Agent Feedback for Wutherton, An Emily Bronte Musical

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/early-agent-feedback-for-wutherton-an-emily-bronte-musical


Female Character Written by Hemingway, or My New Houseplant?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/female-character-written-by-hemingway-or-my-new-houseplant


Herr Drosselmeyer, It Grieves Me to Disinvite You and Your Nutcracker from Future Holiday Parties

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/herr-drosselmeyer-it-grieves-me-to-disinvite-you-and-your-nutcracker-from-future-holiday-parties 


Things You Shout at Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shout at Your Children While Shouting at Colleagues Over Zoom?

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/things-you-shout-at-colleagues-over-zoom-or-shout-at-your-children-while-shouting-at-colleagues-over-zoom

The Belladonna

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

The Belladonna

Hydrangeas by A. Burges

 An Oral History of Saint Patrick by the Snakes He Banished from Ireland

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/an-oral-history-of-saint-patrick-by-the-snakes-he-banished-from-ireland-17bed186b3c


Remarks by an Archaeologist Excavating Ruins, or By Your Dad While Clearing Out the Fridge for Thanksgiving?

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/remarks-by-an-archaeologist-excavating-ruins-or-by-your-dad-while-clearing-out-the-fridge-for-9ab16e784719


Excerpts from the Erotic Thriller I Wrote Despite My Overwhelming Discomfort with Sex Scenes

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-from-the-erotic-thriller-i-wrote-despite-my-overwhelming-discomfort-with-sex-scenes-a104e0dd8f7e


As This Neighborhood's Oldest Rubber Yard Zombie, I Call for an End to our Severed Arms Race

https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/as-this-neighborhoods-oldest-rubber-yard-zombie-i-call-for-an-end-to-our-severed-arms-race-4948715b8a39


Rely on Small Child Construction for the Home Office Improvement Needs You Didn't Know You Had

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/rely-on-small-child-construction-for-the-home-office-improvement-needs-you-didnt-know-you-had-ab0a90a4e5e8 


Creating A Swan-Filled Lake as My Own Personal Dating Pool Has Gone Horribly Awry

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/creating-a-swan-filled-lake-as-my-own-personal-dating-pool-has-gone-horribly-awry-6759962cbd5f 


Excerpts From Are You There, God? It's Me, Momgret

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/excerpts-from-are-you-there-god-its-me-momgret-c44c82ac2136 


The Hurricane Association Condemns the Use of Performance-Enhancing Markers

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/the-hurricane-association-condemns-the-use-of-performance-enhancing-markers-31dcab250309 


Transcripts of the Calls I Imagine 911 Receives About My Parenting

 https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/transcripts-of-the-calls-i-imagine-911-receives-about-my-parenting-22d59610bb9d 


Dante's Fitness Inferno (https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/dantes-fitness-inferno-31db3ff86215A) 


A Heartfelt "Thank You" to Swimsuit Designers (https://thebelladonnacomedy.com/a-heartfelt-thank-you-to-swimsuit-designers-7e5e3aa123c4)

 


Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Larkspur by A. Burges

Women Writers, Women's Books

I Feel Qualified to Write About a Luxury Sports Car Despite Never Touching One

http://booksbywomen.org/i-feel-qualified-to-write-about-a-luxury-sports-car-despite-never-touching-one-by-audrey-burges/


Women Writers, Women's Books

If Brevity is the Soul of Wit, Can I Ever Write a Funny Book?

http://booksbywomen.org/if-brevity-is-the-soul-of-wit-can-i-ever-write-a-funny-book/


Gingerbread House Literary Magazine:

The Gravity of Sisters

https://gingerbreadhouselitmag.com/2021/01/31/new-10/


Into the Void: 

Burritos and Birches

https://intothevoidmagazine.com/article/burritos-and-birches/


Human Parts: 

My Mother Edits the World

https://humanparts.medium.com/my-mother-edits-the-world-fa047410c647 


Empty Mirror: 

Surfacing the Toxins

https://www.emptymirrorbooks.com/personal-essay/surfacing-the-toxins 


Medium: 

A Tale of Love and Raisin Bread

 https://medium.com/@admin_33094/a-tale-of-love-and-raisin-bread-1291ce6fd848 


Small Feats of Heroism My Father Has Performed (https://medium.com/@admin_33094/small-feats-of-heroism-my-father-has-performed-998f7ba8a35f) 


The Shark Also Rises (https://medium.com/@admin_33094/the-shark-also-rises-43c530076a7e) 



Slackjaw

Points in Case

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Sweet William by A. Burges


Pilot Transcript for HGTV's Playhouse Hunters

https://medium.com/slackjaw/pilot-transcript-for-hgtvs-playhouse-hunters-f79063b730ff


Euphemisms for the Sex You Try to Have When Your House is Also Your Office, School, Daycare, and 24-Hour Recreational Facility

 https://medium.com/slackjaw/euphemisms-for-the-sex-you-try-to-have-when-your-house-is-also-your-office-school-daycare-and-f0cd8e23b056 


MANUFRACTURE is a Brutal DIY Experience Where Only the Strong Survive

 https://medium.com/slackjaw/manufracture-is-a-brutal-diy-experience-where-only-the-strong-survive-5f35ab9866bf 


Our New Weight Loss App for Kids is Totally Worth the Risk

 https://medium.com/slackjaw/our-new-weight-loss-app-for-kids-is-totally-worth-the-risk-c84347cff451 



Points in Case

Points in Case

Points in Case

Daffodils by A. Burges


Welcome to Gnomebox https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/welcome-to-gnomebox-the-toddler-fashion-service-with-totally-innocuous-motives


The Wake-Up Fairy Is Tired of Your Bullshit https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/the-wake-up-fairy-is-tired-of-your-bullshit


Modern Male Authors Rework Literary Classics by Women https://www.pointsincase.com/articles/modern-male-authors-rework-literary-classics-by-women)

Frazzled

Points in Case

Points in Case

Lilacs by A. Burges


Things You're Still Shouting At Your Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shouting At Your Children Who Are Also On Zoom and Also Shouting?

https://medium.com/frazzled/things-youre-still-shouting-at-your-colleagues-over-zoom-or-shouting-at-your-children-who-are-1df8a5ea64cd 


Games My Children Have Invented While We're Trying to Avoid the Hospital

https://medium.com/frazzled/games-my-children-have-invented-while-were-trying-to-avoid-the-hospital-67b2df974c7c


If You Give a Mom a Virtual School Schedule

https://medium.com/frazzled/if-you-give-a-mom-a-virtual-school-schedule-4e75c2b9654


Goodnight, Goodnight, Instruction Site

https://medium.com/frazzled/goodnight-goodnight-instruction-site-8e882d46d174 


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