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    • Home
    • About Audrey
    • Books
    • Satire, Essays, Stories
    • Blog
    • Interviews and Press
    • Contact
    • Artwork
  • Home
  • About Audrey
  • Books
  • Satire, Essays, Stories
  • Blog
  • Interviews and Press
  • Contact
  • Artwork

Audrey Burges

Audrey BurgesAudrey BurgesAudrey Burges

Other Writing and Projects

McSweeney's

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Chicory by A. Burges

Signs That You're Ready to Wear Taupe


Are You Decorating for the Holidays with Children, or Playing the Lead in a Heist Movie?


I'm Michelangelo, and Everyone on this Ceiling is as Naked and Jacked as God Intended


Please Come to My Emotional Labor Day Barbecue


I'm Beginning to Think You Don't Care About the Forty-Eight Pencils I Need for School Orientation Tomorrow


Talking Heads Lyrics, or Words My Kid Strings Together at Bedtime Instead of Falling Asleep at a Reasonable Hour?


I'm Vincent Van Gogh, and I Painted That Way Because I Knew it Would Look Really Sweet on a Mousepad


I'm Beginning to Think You Don't Care About the Forty-Seven Valentines I Need to Take to School Tomorrow


Are You Vacationing with Children or Starring in a Gripping Medical Drama?


My Mother's Day Gift to Myself is This Dissociative Episode in Costco


Are You Preparing Dinner for Children or Starring in a Post-Apocalyptic Drama?


Are you Baking Cookies with Children or Starring in a Gritty Crime Procedural? 


Welcome to Your At-Home High Intensity Interval Toddler Class!


On the Seventh Day, God Created Parenting, and Then Parenting Created Coffee


Early Agent Feedback for Wutherton, An Emily Bronte Musical


Female Character Written by Hemingway, or My New Houseplant?


Herr Drosselmeyer, It Grieves Me to Disinvite You and Your Nutcracker from Future Holiday Parties


Things You Shout at Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shout at Your Children While Shouting at Colleagues Over Zoom?

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

Larkspur by A. Burges

Writer's Digest: "Writing Light When the World is Heavy"


Lost Balloon: "A Perfect Facsimile of Flight"


Bracken Magazine: "A Field Guide for Arboreal Memory Storage"


Pithead Chapel: "Prism of Impact"


Cease, Cows: "First Moments Through a Looking Glass"


Twin Pies: "You Are Cordially Invited to the Dirty Laundry Formal"


Fudoki Magazine: "Elegy of Branches"


National Flash Fiction Day: 

2022: "A Poor Workman Blames His Tools"

2021: "The Devil You Know"


Women Writers, Women's Books

"I Feel Qualified to Write About a Luxury Sports Car Despite Never Touching One"


Women Writers, Women's Books

"If Brevity is the Soul of Wit, Can I Ever Write a Funny Book?"


Gingerbread House Literary Magazine:

"The Gravity of Sisters"


Into the Void: 

"Burritos and Birches"


Human Parts: 

"My Mother Edits the World"


Empty Mirror: 

"Surfacing the Toxins"

 

Medium: 

A Tale of Love and Raisin Bread

  

Small Feats of Heroism My Father Has Performed 


The Shark Also Rises



The Belladonna

Stories, Essays and Creative Nonfiction

The Belladonna

Hydrangeas by A. Burges

 An Oral History of Saint Patrick by the Snakes He Banished from Ireland


Remarks by an Archaeologist Excavating Ruins, or By Your Dad While Clearing Out the Fridge for Thanksgiving?


Excerpts from the Erotic Thriller I Wrote Despite My Overwhelming Discomfort with Sex Scenes


As This Neighborhood's Oldest Rubber Yard Zombie, I Call for an End to our Severed Arms Race


Rely on Small Child Construction for the Home Office Improvement Needs You Didn't Know You Had  


Creating A Swan-Filled Lake as My Own Personal Dating Pool Has Gone Horribly Awry

 

Excerpts From Are You There, God? It's Me, Momgret  


The Hurricane Association Condemns the Use of Performance-Enhancing Markers  


Transcripts of the Calls I Imagine 911 Receives About My Parenting


Dante's Fitness Inferno


A Heartfelt "Thank You" to Swimsuit Designers 

 


Slackjaw

Other Satire Publications

The Belladonna

Sweet William by A. Burges


Our Family's Swimsuits Were Designed by World-Famous Architect Frank Gehry, and Innovation is Worth Some Discomfort

(9th place winner, 2021 Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge)


Pilot Transcript for HGTV's Playhouse Hunters


I'm the Rotting Cabbage on Your Windowsill, and I'm Begging You to Stop Pretending You're a Gardener


Euphemisms for the Sex You Try to Have When Your House is Also Your Office, School, Daycare, and 24-Hour Recreational Facility  


MANUFRACTURE is a Brutal DIY Experience Where Only the Strong Survive

 

Our New Weight Loss App for Kids is Totally Worth the Risk

 



Points in Case

Other Satire Publications

Other Satire Publications

Daffodils by A. Burges


Welcome to Gnomebox 


The Wake-Up Fairy Is Tired of Your Bullshit 


Modern Male Authors Rework Literary Classics by Women 

Other Satire Publications

Other Satire Publications

Other Satire Publications

Lilacs by A. Burges


Greener Pastures


A Beginner's Guide to Power Washers


Frazzled


Things You're Still Shouting At Your Colleagues Over Zoom, or Shouting At Your Children Who Are Also On Zoom and Also Shouting?

 

Games My Children Have Invented While We're Trying to Avoid the Hospital


If You Give a Mom a Virtual School Schedule


Goodnight, Goodnight, Instruction Site


Copyright © 2023 Audrey Burges - All Rights Reserved.

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